Managing Personal Expectations (1)
This is something in which I have struggled with for many years, and I had found the reason being was I was not trying to live up to my own expectations but those laid forth before me. Our entire lives we are expected to live by predetermined notion of what your life as an adult is supposed to look like but why should I follow a path I had no input in creating?
I know that I am leagues away from even the semblance of what I would consider the perfect life, but I strive every day to achieve it. For me what that looks like odd jobs and sleepless nights for the moments I get to spend outrunning storms through the mountains or gliding with the fish through the oceans. Just because a life like this isn't necessarily for everyone doesn't mean that it isn't for anyone yet for some reason unless you are working endlessly to just barley exist, you're viewed as less-than. I am simple don't need or want much so why is it wrong of me to choose a life in which reflects that? The truth is that it isn't and once I learned that I was able to make the leap into the unknown.
I couldn't tell you how this is going to end up as I'm currently still in free fall undecided if I should have jumped from so high but what I can tell you that I know what I don't want. Spending day in and day out doing nothing but serving someone else's interests for little to no respect in return, I don't intend on being too tired to spend time with the people I care about. I'm not saying that working for others or having security and stability aren't great but what I am saying is I would rather do it for those who see me as more than just a cog in a machine that is simply replicable. Though I have chosen to do it on my own terms I understand that many can't just pack up live in their car and hope for the best, but you also can continue to show the world they can treat you any which way and you're just expected to take it.
I am going to take everything I have ever applied to help build others and use it for myself or those I feel are worth my time and energy.
I hope to someday make a modest means just enough to feed myself and my car and continue to see what the world has to offer without worrying about where the next meal is coming from or ending up in jail for simply residing in my car. That being said I also hold myself to a standard for how I present myself while I'm out and about. I know that my lifestyle is unorthodox and therefore I am judged based solely on how I have chosen to live. There is nothing that says you are limited by others image of you; I look and sound as if I spend my days in the 9-5 life and once upon a time, I used to so it's really not hard. I still work just one my own things at my own pace and not at the cost of my soul or freedom at least not in the way of most others.
I suppose I'm once again back to the ramble so....
Until Next Time
The Lovable Villain